As some of you may know, I love writing and at the moment I'm in the process of writing a couple different books, one of which is my autobiography. I probably won't be publishing it for a few years, just because I want more to happen to make it worth publishing, lol. The first chapter is the testimony of how I accepted Jesus into my heart. If you want to read the full version feel free to email me, but I'll just put out the cliff notes version for now ;).
Growing up we were a family that went to church, but I saw God and Jesus as a kind of fairytale. I didn't think it was fake, but it was just something I was taught, it didn't become real to me until I was 14. Things started changing at the end of 2011:
Our landlord was selling our house so we had to move within a couple months. A family friend offered us a place to stay, but some construction was required. Moving, in and of itself can be stressful enough without the added pressure of building what you're moving into.
My mom was home schooling myself and my four older brothers, with the help of Portland Bible Colleges' home school program. But the program was shutting down, and our "home-room teacher" was retiring. So my mom would have to find another way for my me and my last in-school brother to graduate. Along with this (and moving) the long time friend, and lady my mom was working for/taking care of passed away. All of this happened over the period of a few months, and around Christmas. My mom took it all pretty hard and emotionally withdrew, which was hard for my 12 year old self to see and deal with.
In retrospect: My emotional state had started to decline as soon as we began the move, and things just kept getting worse. I didn't have the spiritual tools or general knowledge on how to deal with my emotions: Anger, pain, sadness, fear. So I resorted to silence. I kept my thoughts for my journal, and never allowed myself to cry around other people. If anyone ever asked, I was "fine."
I spent a lot of time with my mom, and felt like I had to be there for her, and push down my own, what I felt were irrational, problems. Though both my parents (especially my dad) always reassured us that we could come to them with anything at anytime, but I was 12 and didn't know exactly what my problems were, I just had feelings, and didn't think talking about it would help. The suppression of my feelings lead to me feeling nothing at all.
Masters School of Art (MSOA) was my safe haven, it was where met my best friend (and non-blood sister) Maggie, she was the sunshine to my cloudy, gray life; always reminding me to look on the bright side. After going there for 3 years my dad informed me I could no longer attend. It hurt, but a part of me somehow knew it was for the best. I didn't think things could get much worse...but roughly four months later Maggie informed me she and her family would be moving to Southern Oregon, Bend.
After I helped them move, my anger and sadness increased. I had just turned fourteen and I didn’t really want a new spiritual atmosphere, but was in desperate need of one. At this point it was just the youngest brother, me, mom and dad at home. So my mom decided to look for a new church. On March 23rd 2014 I set foot in Victory Faith Church (VFC), and everything inside of me prayed this intriguing little church would change my life. That prayer has been answered in more ways than I could have ever fathomed.
At the time I didn't really notice my depression until I started hanging out with people from VFC. They weren't just happy, they were joyful. I noticed the difference, and I wanted it. I wanted something better.
Summer of 2014 I went to youth camp and accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior, for what I think was the first time (And had a miraculous healing along with it, but I'll save that story for another day 😉). I found my hope in life; not just a religion, or fairy tale, but the start of a relationship. Before and after this camp I began asking questions, and digging into what I believed.
It hasn't been cupcakes and rainbows since I got saved, there have been plenty of struggles. But I'm learning, and I know my Baba, and church family have my back.
So there you have it, there is the simple version of my history, leading up to how I found my purpose in life. I'm going to try posting once a week, I can't promise a specific day, only because my work schedule varies. If I run out ideas, or start a series/theme, I'll probably send out a monthly update, with a general synopsis of major and minor events I had happen in the month.
Here are a couple series I have in mind, what do you guys think?
- Inspirational Mondays: I could post some of my art or favorite quotes and bible verses; things that get me through rough days.
- Let's talk TV: I have watched a LOT of movies and TV series in my 18yrs of life...if anyone is at all interested in my favorites ;)
- Testimonies: Sharing some of my experiences from youth camps and other Jesus moments.
- Writing: I have a few short stories I've written and want to write, I also have a few books I love that I could give my thoughts on.
- About myself: My dreams for the future, and/or my medical history.
- I don't think I'd want to do a series, but I have some photography stuff I could share as well.
I'm thinking about doing one of these for a while (until I run out of content) then switching to something else, or rotating between them randomly. I could really use some feedback on this; I want to write about stuff people want read.
Anyway, love you guys, it's late...I'm going to bed. Good night! :)
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